I would like to apologies for my absence, it has mostly been filled with wedding madness but also a little soul searching.
After my last blog about teaching and my ability not to do it, a friend of mine commented on how 'sorted my life is' and it left me a little enraged (sorry) only I don't at all feel like my life is sorted, I suppose no-one really does, but I infact don't own my house, and I am in a job which I am pretty sure is going nowhere and most of the time feel like everything is madly sprialling out of my control! I suppose I should look at it in a positive way....while I feel that my life is utter chaos I am obviously doing a great swan impression because no-one else has seemed to notice lol! I am not sure why it left me feeling quite so shocked to see that others see my life as 'sorted' maybe because I am actally a little afraid of having a sorted life, lets be honest we all think we want a life of plain sailing and stress free living but actually, how dull? I think it's knowing that being sorted would make me an official grown up that is so terrifying, and yes I know getting married is pretty grown up, but I know that it won't change how me and matt are so I don't find the concept of being Mrs Kaufman that daunting lol! I suppose I should take it as a compliment, but if only I could figure out why everytime I read that comment I feel like someones taken the wind out of me?!
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